Candies You Hated Getting Every Halloween

5 Candies You Hated Getting Every Halloween<br /><br />Not to mention the fact that to keep the lips and fangs attached to your face, you were required to bite down ever so gently on an extra piece of wax protruding from the inside of the lips, making speech unintelligible on top of everything else.<br /><br />This was pretty safe by itself, if you didnt mind shitting a turd shaped candle the next day. Of course if you were smart enough to abstain from actually eating it, you and your friends probably still wound up passing it from mouth to mouth, spreading colds and maybe even a case of Measles. Or herpes, depending on the crowd you ran with.<br /><br />Its tasty! Its fashionable! It will gain you the respect of your peers, catch the eye of that boy youve been after, and give you a delicious reprieve from the sheer torture that is your adolescence. Its the best of both worlds!<br /><br />The whole edible clothing/accessory thing is really better in theory than practice. Like those novelty edible panties, you dont put them back on after theyre partially eaten.<br /><br />Not so with the candy necklace, which the little girl or effeminate boy, we suppose was sure to put in their mouth, then around their neck, then around their wrist, then on their friends wrist, then in their friends mouth. Itd be disgusting even if the candy didnt taste like chalk.<br /><br />Look at you, all grown up! Pretending to use tobacco and emulate the beautiful people like Marilyn Monroe, Pierce Brosnan, and Popeye.<br /><br />The world has long since pussied out on the whole candy carcinogen thing, but many of us still have fond memories of these from our childhoods. Until we started smoking for real at the age of 12.<br /><br />Yes you think you look cool, but in reality youre just another poser, kid. That may sound harsh, but if you really thought chewing on the end of a bubble gum cigar would earn you the respect of your friends and strike fear into the hearts of your enemies a la Tony Soprano, you were in for one of those brutal lessons about growing up.<br /><br />And it kind of looks like a dick.<br /><br />Not to mention that once again the candy makers, confident that the fun shape would carry sales, didnt bother to inject any kind of flavor into any of these. We said the candy necklaces tasted like chalk? Were not completely sure that candy cigarettes werent actual sticks of chalk.